Grief is the reason I give back. I’ve come to realize that most people who volunteer have a personal story driving them. For me, it’s grief. But what moved me from “thinking about it” to actually signing up was a conversation with my coworker Ellen. She shared how much her time as a Buddy’s Place volunteer meant to her, and the passion in her voice stayed with me. Hearing her experience—and reflecting on my own losses—made me feel compelled to be part of it myself.
In February 2025, I started training to become a volunteer at Buddy’s Place, Pillars Community Health’s bereavement program for children and teens aged 4–18. During training, I joined nine other volunteers in learning about the history and mission of Buddy’s Place. We explored the program’s core offerings—monthly gatherings, eight-week sessions, and special events—and how each one creates space for families to navigate loss together.
One thing that struck me right away was the program’s flexibility. Families can stay involved for as long as they need—some repeat eight-week sessions back-to-back, while others return months or years later as their children grow and their needs change. Monthly gatherings are offered year-round, giving families a steady place to find community and support.
During training, one of the most important lessons I learned is that grief is a natural process with no timeline or single “right” way to experience it. Every individual’s journey is unique. I carried that lesson with me as I stepped into my first role as co-facilitator for an eight-week session in spring 2025.
Over those weeks, I watched families—many meeting for the first time—gradually open up and connect, even if some missed sessions or didn’t attend every week. Through art, conversation, and other activities, children and teens came together to talk about death, share their feelings, support and comfort each other, cry and laugh together, welcome newcomers, develop coping skills, and find ways to express themselves and grow.
Some were more willing to share than others and some chose to listen, but you could tell everyone cared for one another—and everyone participated in their own way. By the end of the session, strangers had become friends. Many even exchanged phone numbers, wanting to maintain those connections beyond our time together.
One moment that has stayed with me was watching a quiet 10-year-old who rarely spoke in the first sessions proudly share a drawing of her loved one by the final week. Her peers listened intently, nodded in understanding, and clapped when she finished. It was a simple moment, but it reflected the heart of Buddy’s Place: creating safe spaces where grief can be expressed, witnessed, and honored.
I believe everyone left with a deeper understanding of grief—and hopefully learned something new along the way. My biggest takeaway is that programs like Buddy’s Place are essential, offering people opportunities to grieve together rather than alone. After completing my first session as a co-facilitator, I walked away with a better understanding of grief and an even greater appreciation for this program. I learned from my fellow volunteers—both new like me and those who have been serving for 20 years or more.
For 25 years, families have found comfort, resilience, and hope through Buddy’s Place. Being part of this community has been both humbling and joyful, giving me space to reflect on my own grief and to support children, teens, and their families through theirs. I’m so happy about my decision to become a Buddy’s Place volunteer—and I’ll always be thankful to Ellen for nudging me toward this journey.
Maybe your reason to give back is different—gratitude, hope, or simply wanting children to have the support you wish you’d had. Whatever your “why,” Buddy’s Place is a community where it matters.
Join us as a volunteer and help children and families find healing together. Learn more at https://pillarscommunityhealth.org/get-involved/volunteer/#volunteer-application.