Dating violence is more common than many realize—about 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. experiences some form of abuse from a dating partner. It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, and may take place in person or online.

Teen dating violence includes physical, emotional, verbal, or digital abuse. As a parent or caregiver, you play a key role in educating your teen about what a healthy relationship looks like and how to recognize unhealthy behaviors.

What Is Teen Dating Violence?

Teen dating violence is any action by a partner meant to harm, manipulate, or control the other person. It can include:

• Physical violence: Actions like hitting, pushing, or restraining.
• Emotional abuse: Manipulation, humiliation, or constant criticism.
• Sexual violence: Coercion or forcing unwanted physical acts.
• Verbal abuse: Name-calling, yelling, or making threats.
• Digital abuse: Monitoring social media accounts, excessive texting, or sharing private images without consent.

These harmful behaviors can have long-lasting effects on teens, including:

• Depression or anxiety
• Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed
• Experimentation with drugs or alcohol
• Suicidal thoughts

Teens who experience violence in relationships during adolescence are also more likely to encounter violence as adults.

Preventing Dating Violence

The good news is that teen dating violence is preventable. By teaching your teen about healthy relationships and creating an open line of communication, you can help reduce their risk of experiencing abuse.

When Should You Start the Conversation?

Every teen matures at their own pace, so it’s important to meet your teen where they are. If your teen hasn’t started dating yet, this can be a good opportunity to talk about what dating means to them. Set expectations together—like appropriate curfews, types of dates, and the importance of mutual respect and boundaries.

Explain that abuse can happen in any relationship, and emphasize that your goal is to protect them and give them the tools they need to navigate dating safely. Let them know they can come to you with any questions or concerns without fear of judgment.

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Help your teen understand what makes a relationship healthy. A healthy relationship should include:

• Boundaries: Both partners feel comfortable and respected.
• Consent: Both people freely agree to physical and emotional intimacy. Consent must be ongoing and can be withdrawn at any time.
• Respect: Each partner values the other’s opinions and listens to their perspective.
• Trust and safety: Both partners should feel secure and supported, not controlled or afraid.
• Equality: Neither partner dominates or controls the relationship.

Remind your teen that healthy relationships take time to grow and are built on trust, respect, and communication.

Recognizing the Signs of Abuse

Teens may not always feel comfortable telling a parent they’re experiencing abuse, which is why it’s important to look for potential warning signs, such as:

• Sudden changes in mood or behavior
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Unexplained injuries
• Losing interest in hobbies or activities

If you notice these signs, start a calm and private conversation with your teen. Let them know you’re there to listen and support them without judgment. Avoid blaming or criticizing them, as this could make them feel unsafe or reluctant to share more.

Supporting Your Teen

Reassure your teen that they are not alone and that there are resources available to help them. Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult, whether it’s you, another family member, a teacher, or a counselor.

At Pillars Community Health, we offer comprehensive domestic violence and sexual assault services for teens and their families. You can learn more about these resources at PillarsCommunityHealth.org/services/domestic-and-sexual-violence-services.

Empowering Teens to Help Their Friends

Teens may also witness unhealthy relationships among their peers. Empower them to support their friends by:

• Recognizing warning signs of abuse.
• Encouraging their friends to seek help.
• Knowing where to go for resources and support.

By teaching your teen how to build healthy relationships and recognize red flags, you’re giving them tools to create a safer, brighter future for themselves and their peers. Together, we can create a world free from dating violence.