What comes to mind when we think of the word \u2018bullying\u2019? Maybe it\u2019s children taunting each other on the playground or pushing each other in the hallway. Maybe it\u2019s excluding someone at the lunch table or spreading rumors behind their back. Maybe it\u2019s calling someone names online after school.<\/p>\n
This is bullying, and it\u2019s happening in every community.<\/p>\n
According to data by stopbullying.gov<\/a><\/strong>, as many as 1 in 3 students experience some form of bullying in their lifetime, with the most common forms being verbal and social. While bullying affects children of all ages, studies show that the majority of it happens in middle school, when children are trying to fit in with their peers and form social friend groups.<\/p>\n October is Bullying Prevention Month, a nationwide campaign to address and end the issue of bullying in and outside of schools. Pillars Community Health echoes this initiative through prevention education in schools and communities. Presentations in elementary, middle, and high schools cover topics like bullying, family violence, mental health, and resources for parents and educators. By increasing awareness in the communities we serve, we strive to empower students, teachers and parents to address these issues.<\/p>\n How Do We Talk About Bullying? <\/strong><\/p>\n Bullying is often thought of as physical abuse or verbal taunts from one person onto another, but it\u2019s much more complex than that. Despite the many stigmas and stereotypes that surround the issue of bullying, it\u2019s not always as black-and-white as it seems.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a lot of fluidity involved,\u201d says Lauren Pagan, Director of Domestic Violence Advocacy at Pillars Community Health. \u201cYou\u2019re not only the bully, sometimes you\u2019re also the person being<\/em> bullied.\u201d<\/p>\n In-school presentations given by the Domestic Violence outreach team focus on family violence as a way of relating more closely to school-age children. Instead of discussing the cycle of abuse or more mature issues like dating violence, they focus on social conflict that children experience among friends and siblings.<\/p>\n \u201cDomestic abuse and family violence are all about power and control,\u201d says Pagan. \u201cKids don\u2019t always understand that. But if you start talking to them about bullying, they hear that word and know what it means, and they get it.\u201d<\/p>\n The topic of bullying opens the doors for more in-depth conversations about setting boundaries. Presentations and group sessions also stress the importance of identifying healthy relationships by empowering kids and teens to find people that share their values.<\/p>\n \u201cWe focus on what\u2019s important to them, like honesty or loyalty, and then try to identify that in their relationships with their friends and people in their lives,\u201d says Pagan. \u201cThe goal is to help them know when a friendship or a relationship isn\u2019t healthy, so that they feel empowered to get away from that situation, or speak up if they need help.\u201d<\/p>\n Other forms of prevention education take a more direct approach to bullying. Pillars Community Health\u2019s Sexual Assault outreach team offers school presentations specific to bullying, which follow the Steps to Respect Model<\/strong><\/a>. The model teaches friendship skills, prevention by teachers and parents, and planning for future success.<\/p>\n \u201cA common stigma is that people will say \u2018Oh, that\u2019s just kids being kids\u2019, but it\u2019s more than that,\u201d says Patty Murphy, Director of Sexual Assault Advocacy at Pillars Community Health. \u201cEveryone used to just brush it off and go tell [kids] to work it out themselves. We don\u2019t do that. We go in there and talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Many children impacted by bullying don\u2019t report it out of fear that they won\u2019t be taken seriously, or that the harassment will just get worse. One of the team\u2019s main messages is the importance of disclosure, and providing resources to kids and teens to encourage them to reach out for help if they need it.<\/p>\n \u201cWe tell them to write notes to an adult they trust if they aren\u2019t sure how to start that conversation,\u201d says Murphy. \u201cA social worker, a teacher, it doesn\u2019t matter who. That way, they\u2019re still speaking up, but they\u2019re doing it in a way that\u2019s more comfortable for them.\u201d<\/p>\n The Steps to Respect model also focuses on training parents and educators to intervene when they see bullying take place, and to respond compassionately when a child speaks out.<\/p>\n \u201cSo many of these issues are shameful to kids,\u201d says Murphy. \u201cThey don\u2019t like to talk about it because sometimes they\u2019re embarrassed or scared. Adults need to respond appropriately and make a plan with not only the kid being bullied, but also address it with the ones who are doing the bullying. \u201d<\/p>\n